Perfect Mommy Envy

I think from the previous posts I've done most would think "Oh, you're one of those Mom's!" You know the one's that are nice no matter what, speaking in the almost robotic high pitched voice. Contantly playing at the playgrounds, snuggling in bed every night to read a bunch of bedtime stories. Endless amounts of patience, "and practically perfect in every way". No, that's not me. I would love very much to be that mom. I try every once in a while, but it usually only lasts a few days. Most likely my perfect Mommy mood will end with thuds and screaming from upstairs. I'm usually nice until something really irks me (this happens about every 20 minutes), I don't speak in the sweet high pitched voice, more matter of fact like "stop now or you'll be in trouble later" accompanied with an angry mom face. I used to play on the playground and then we gave Kennedy a sibling. I do enjoy snuggling in bed reading books, but I don't do it as often as I'd like. I do have patience, a lot actually, but not enough. I guess as much as I'm not "the perfect mom" I still feel like I'm the perfect mom for my kids and God matched these children to me for a perfect reason.